Letting people from England sleep in your house

 I remember the first time I met somebody from blogdom, I was a wreck. Oh dear….what would they think of me? How could I possibly live up to the much more interesting and funny awittykitty? I couldn’t obviously. I’m a writer, not an interesting person. I mean, we all look better in print, don’t we? Cuter.  Wiser. More together. Or if we’re angsty, at least hopefully, funnier in my case.

My first meet, of course, was the lovely BlueMeany. We realized after reading each other’s blog that we lived in the same town, so on one of her trips home from Iraq, we met at a restaurant known for hotdogs. Conversation was easier than expected and despite the twenty some year difference in age, we hit it off well enough to meet on her subsequent visits home. I mean, I’ve been to her parents house. We went to see Bob Dylan. She’s been to my art class.  We even had lunch again last week.

 I’ve met other bloggers like Kathyesque and ArtGnome and Ann from Massachusetts, all of whom are pretty much like their blogs. Kindred spirits. Some bloggers have photos, some don’t, so its always a surprise when you meet the ones who don’t. I never told you this Kathy, but when I met you and your friend at the Finger Lakes I didn’t know which one you were for about the first 20 minutes. Gah! My fault. Short attention span during intros.

 Well, on Sunday, I took this meeting people from blogs one bold step further. Not only did I meet one of my blog people. I met someone from a blog AND a foreign country and then they stayed at my apartment for 3 days. Oh my frooking god! Can you believe it? Yeah, me neither. That was quite a leap of faith for a person afraid of lint. But somehow I knew it would work. It was the lovely Annanotbob who arrived this past Sunday night and we got along so famously, we may possibly have to adopt each other or have our cats become penpals or something.

 I figure its because we’re both artsy hippie types with cats, who like Scrabble and politics and who enjoy going for walks and taking photos.

 I didn’t want to tire Anna out too much, but I did want to show off yuppieville in all its Springtime-blooming glory. Fortunately she managed to catch a nice stretch of weather (it snowed last week, but was sunny and in the 60’s this week). We walked up around our local lake, hit the trail along the Erie, went to some funky shops down in the hippy part of town, drew a nekkid model at my drawing class and even spotted a banner down at the local university frat house advertising “The Penis Monologues”.  It was a reallllllly BIG banner, but you know how guys are.

 Oh, and I’m sure the highlight ,as she has written, was meeting the ever-fluctuating supernova of effervescence Charlemagne, who definitely needed to be hit in the head  with a Buick the night of our art class. Why? Well, we can start with him arriving about 23 minutes late, as in about seven minutes before the class was due to start, leaving me in a high state of stress. How high? Well, as I was digging through my little book of phone numbers to call him and ask him where the hell he was, I accidentally called “A”s private cell phone number and got his answering machine. I didn’t even realize it was “A”s voice on the answering machine as I was snarling, “Its almost 7, WHERE ARE YOU???? ARE YOU SLEEPING????? YOU NEED TO GET DOWN HERE!!!!!!” Or something to that effect.

 And right then Charlemagne came pounding up the stairs in a mad sweat.  In the meantime, “A” called back on the guy’s cell phone I had borrowed, wondering who was calling…although I figure he probably recognized my voice and Charlemagne’s name. I didn’t talk to him though. The cell phone guy answered his own phone and told “A” he had the wrong number. Heh! Whoops.

But I think Anna really enjoyed the art class and I was really happy she got to meet all my art friends. They were all really fascinated with her lovely British accent. In fact, they all seemed to gather around her like she was Helen Mirren showing off her Oscar or something.

 There were some other wonky things going on during the three days, like I lost my brand new credit card and had to go to the bank and cancel it. My internet service went out and is still out. And Guardcat was like in a trance the entire three days, staring up at Anna like she was Norman Bates in “Psycho”. That was so rude, Guardcat. She loves kitties, and was so nice to you, scratching you on your chin and all.

I guess the biggest non-guest news since I last wrote  was that the devious and evil Garden Hacker Guy, who caused me so many problems about two years ago (stalking, slashing my tires twice, calling the police on me, etc.) got evicted from the Crazy Hilton this week.

Can we get a Thanka Jeeezus!?!?!

Oh man, hearing that news made my heart leap so high! He hadn’t been quite so obnoxious this last summer, but I had never been able to use my back porch with all the problems in the previous years and its a very pleasant porch (Anna will attest to this) and now, hopefully, I will be able to paint on it this summer, especially since I just got the news that I will have another one woman art show at the library across the street in 2010. 

Anyways, his official eviction was Wednesday, but what was weird was that I got to go into his creepy dungeon of doom apartment Tuesday morning. I heard this knock and my neighbor two doors down asked if I wanted to go get some free potted plants. I always want anything free, so I quickly got dressed and we went downstairs and I went into Garden Hacker Guy’s apartment (he’s, ummm, sorta, ummm, incapacitated –cough– right now, as in a SWAT team was last seen descending on our apartment complex last week with guns drawn. Eep!). 

Anyways, it was just as uber-serial killer creepy as imagined. All the windows had black plastic over them. Filthy carpet. Metal poles hanging by wires from the ceiling with huge plants hanging from them and potted plants all over the floor. Considering he was a garden hacker outside, the plants inside were in incredibly gorgeous shape.

Let’s just call this….the End of an Era and hope that no other wack-a-doo’s move in, mmm’kay?

I really had a blast with Anna! Thanks again for making, making new “Real Life” friends so darn easy, my dear. I may just try and do it again! Imagine!


(I didn’t have any photos of the two of us together….so this is Anna looking pretty in pink at our local funky clothes store)


14 Responses to “Letting people from England sleep in your house”

  1. Poolagirl Says:

    Fantastic news on all accounts! So glad Garden Hacker Man is gone! And you got to spend time with dearest Anna. That is the coolest of all! So glad you have another great friend. That’s why we’re all here. You and Anna are both on my “must meet someday” list. BlueMeany and I almost had breakfast together when she was in town, but the schedules didn’t quite click. Still a bit sad over that.

  2. xat Says:

    How wonderful to have such a wonderful visitor (despite GuardCat’s reservations) AND have batshit crazy Hacker guy get…re-homed.

    I am working on this summer’s trip East and would like to try to get together with you. No particulars yet, but I’ll let you know. Here’s hoping it works out. *fingers crossed*

  3. LA Says:

    YAY!!! Good riddance, Hacker Guy!

    Mandy the cat has made up for Guardcat’s aloof behavior, the second Anna crossed the threshold Mandy crawled up Anna’s blouse and has taken up permanent residence between her boobs. Anna will have big fun explaining to the customs guys why she has a cat between her tits, eh?~LA

  4. artgnome Says:

    So glad to hear you two had a nice visit. I’m sorry I could not find time to join you. I know I missed a great time and meeting of artistic minds. And another show! How awesome is that?!

    Also the news of Hacker Guy finally leaving is GREAT!!! Yay for you, and I hope you enjoy your lovely porch so much this summer.

  5. Anna Says:

    Love and hugs and art not apathy and fuck ’em all, sistah! xxxx

  6. stepfordtart Says:

    Im really glad you guys got on – would have loved to have been there too. Ooh, maybe you’ll get a nice artistic seck-seee hippy man-type neighbour……..or at least someone amusing that you can write about here and we can all snigger at! lots of love s x

  7. crankygirl Says:

    It sounds like a terrific visit. It’s good to have you back in the bloggy neighborhood.

  8. Stephanie Says:

    What wonderful pics! I loved your account of Anna’s visit (very funny!). She’s a terrific soul and so apparently are you. Thanks for sharing this.

  9. azzweepay Says:

    Glad you 2 got to meet. I’m wondering how it is I have no recollection of your gardenhacker guy stories? Too bad you didn’t YouTube the SWAT team taking him out.

  10. Pam Says:

    All sorts of good stuff – a great visit, a psycho goes away, and another art show on the horizon – glad to hear it!

  11. geekbetty Says:

    soooooooooooooo jealous. I wish I could meet up with you!

  12. DanjerusKurves Says:

    Oh witty, you know I adore you, right? riiiiiiiiight? so how could you, of all people, use that horribly inaccurate term “British accent” when I have repeatedly told every American within reading distance that there is NO SUCH THING? English accent, Irish accent, Scottish accent, Welsh accent — four different countries comprise the United Kingdom and we do not have a “group” accent. *End of lecture* 🙂

  13. Andria Says:

    I always get a little nervous meeting a new blog friend, but it always ends up being a blast. I love BlueMeany. One day I’m going to call in sick to work and just knock on her door in Berkeley with my cat and a suitcase. (I don’t think she knows this yet.)

    I’m not even going to lie – I totally love that you’re wearing the scarf I made in your picture!

  14. Julie Says:

    How incredibly awesome… I didn’t realize you’d met up with so many of your blog friends. Good for you! Bluemeany must be so much fun in person, I LOVE her writing!

    I’m so glad Hacker Guy is gone. Whatta whackjob. Heh. Hehe…

    Well one day you gotta make a trip back out to good ‘ol Cali-4-Nye-Aye and hang out with me and my kitties! We can buy a giant canvas, put on some bathing suits and body paint! Yea.

    Glad you’re feeling better. ((HUGS))

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