About 25 years ago this really cute guy I worked with named John asked me over for Thanksgiving dinner. I was psyched. I really liked him because despite being a total babe, he actually was really down to earth, smart, thoughtful, funny and we even eventually went out on our one and only date. Oh, and he knew how to cook. Guys who cook are #1 in my book. Did I mention the Thanksgiving thing was a party? Yeah, he wasn’t basting his turkey just for me. What? Are you nuts? He was John the Hot Babe!
Anyways, there came that point where I had to tell my mother I wouldn’t be sharing Thanksgiving dinner with her. That all important meal. The meal she hadn’t cooked since I was in high school in the 70’s. (We usually went to Denney’s). She was devastated of course. I rejected her for a bunch of strangers. And a cute guy.
Can we see why I’ve always had trouble having a social life away from my mommy?
Anyways, I did it again this year. Every 20 years or so, I break away from the herd like some rogue sheep, and go have fun with my friends on a holiday. She wouldn’t say she was upset. She only said my uncle would be reaaallllly sad I wasn’t coming to Thanksgiving dinner at his house.
I’m such an insensitive twit….wanting to have fun and all.
And then rather strangely my brother called me the night before I left(!!!!!) Can I just say, that just ain’t normal. I didn’t even know he knew my phone number. I live less than a mile from him and he’s never been to my apartment. I’ve given him directions. We’ve done Mapquest. We have even done a Google satellite image of my apartment building on his computer but he has yet been able to drive up the main street and turn right.
Anyways, the reason for the call? I guess he had heard from our mother that I was blowing off Thanksgiving AGAIN going to visit my best friend “G” on a train to Schenectady for Thanksgiving. He wanted to tell me that there was a high alert for Al quaida terrorists blowing up trains around New York. He also promised he’d say a prayer involving my safety.
WTF? He prays? hee hee hee. Okay.
My mom did call me Thursday morning. I had asked her to call at 8:30 in case I overslept, but at 7:59….rinnnggggggggg! I guess it was my fault she called so early. Her clock said 8:20.
When I turned on my car to go to the train station, there was almost an immediate problem. The “Check engine” light came on. Maybe it was some kind of a “I’m Hurting My Mother on Thanksgiving” karma thingie. I mean I fixed that bastard with over a thousand dollars worth of repairs last summer. Why is the engine light suddenly coming on? I was freaked as I drove across town to the train station. Please don’t break down. Please don’t break down. Fortunately I got there ok. Maybe it was the “Good daughter deserves some fun” karma was kicking in.
The train ride was uneventful. And rather ironically I went from dreary and gray weather to sunny and nice weather when I met my friend. Isn’t that like some total kind of metaphor for my entire life?
It was great seeing “G” again, especially so soon after Rochester. Schenectady was a lot easier to get around, since it was smaller. “G” and I took a little walk up to a little cemetery near the hotel and made a rather exciting cinematic discovery. Well, you’ll see…
The final resting place of “Hairy” Potter!!!!
“G” had a rather startling story about when he met the actor who played the movie Potter in a New York City elevator, but I am sworn to secrecy because of the rather (cough) delicate nature of the conversation. Right “G”?
When we got back to the hotel “G” made us some frozen turkey dinners in the microwave and then was off to the theatre. I stayed at the hotel and got to watch CABLE TV!!!!! WOO!! Since I live below poverty level, cable TV is not exactly an option….so I laid in bed luxuriating in like five hours of primo reality television. Shows about rich, bratty real estate agents in Malibu….and about people with the messiest houses in America…and my absolute favorite: Real Housewives in New Yawk! And Orange County! And Atlanta! Holy shit! I like totally want to be a stupid, rich housewife now!
And then when “G” came back to the hotel room, evidently he’s familiar with all the housewife shows and knew all the housewives by name. So we were like talking smack to the TV screen and being all sassy and shit. It was great! Plus he brought back some additional turkey from a banquet at the show, and had a pumpkin pie and a carton of Cool Whip chilling in the fridge!
witty? When was the last time you were in a hotel room with a guy and a carton of Cool Whip? Sorry “G”, that was just too easy. We’re friends of 30 years. Just friends though. Thanks for the pie, “G”. It was nice. 🙂
The next day we just had the morning together. He had to be at the theatre by noon. My train wasn’t leaving until 4:30, so we said our goodbyes there and I walked around the downtown area, which had a few fun shops. Even though I am pretty tapped out financially this month because of my glasses, I did buy a little art book for under ten bucks. I figure I’m worth at least that much.
I finally caught the train back just as it was getting dark. I do have this issue about transportation and darkness I had forgotten about. Hurtling forth in a Tube of Death (trains or planes) makes me really anxious. I tried not to think about it, but as we rocked back and forth in total blackness, I did feel a slight case of suffocation and anxiety. And then I heard something that made it even worse. The guy in front of me was talking on his cell phone.
“We meet at gas station. 10 p.m.” And then suddenly he switched to some low, obscure Iraqi al-quaida sub-dialect “Abba dabba doo blah blah blah, yes, 10 p.m. You get car.” More al quaida dialect fast talk. “Abblah debombde ack-acknuclearblast Gas. Car. Station.”
In fact, when he made a second call and said, “This is Hadeesh”, I was totally convinced that I was sitting behind a terrorist planning to blow something up.
See! I knew it was highly improbable that my brother would pray for a train without terrorists!!! He won’t even drive a mile to see me!!!
…as you can see I survived Amtrak. And as far as I can tell there hasn’t been any terrorist activity on trains in New York in the last 24 hours. Or gas stations. So I guess Hadeesh was probably just picking up his SUV at a garage and didn’t know the American word for it. Drrrr!
And I did call my mom when I got home Friday night and evidently my uncle realllly missed me at the Thanksgiving. I mean really! Like “We might have to call in a therapist” missed me. But everyone survived. And isn’t that what Thanksgiving is all about? Being thankful for the ones who drive you crazy. Okay, I just made up that last part.