cars and art makes me crazy(er)

Well, my car has decided to be a drama queen AGAIN. Dammit. I went to go to an appointment yesterday and my car was dead. So I called AAA and got a jumpstart. Car Nerd Guy said to drive around for a half hour and then go to Sears and have them check out the battery which I did. Battery was fine. Phew! That was close. Especially since I needed to go to my art class last night. It was my co-hosting night with Charlemagne. He wasn’t there though. Neither was “L” the Hippie Chick. Felt kind of lonely. They’re my compadres.

I did manage to do a couple of good drawings though. JS walked by at the halfway point and said my 20 minute drawing was “fun”. I actually don’t like that term. I don’t know why. Fun? Like Funny? Fun like Snoopy? Fun like stupid. I’m drawing a naked person.  I realize he means it as a compliment, but my skin is thinner than an Olsen Twin these days. And then for my 30 minute drawing he stopped by and said…like in total amazement, “That really looks like her!” So many things nearly flew out of my mouth.

  • “I’ve been holding back, you know. I just didn’t want you cretins to feel insecure by my spectacular and blinding art talent. “
  • “Oh my god, I’m sorry. I’ll go back and draw how I usually draw…you know, crappy. “
  • “How did…this…happen? There’s only one possible explanation. The real witty must have been abducted…And Van Goghwitty has cracked her way out of her mutant space egg.”

But, of course, I just thanked him and just quietly closed my sketchpad, feeling all nervous and insecure. There’s a bunch of stuff going on in my head right now that has really been making me feel all insecure. I missed a board meeting when my friend was visiting and for some reason I feel like I was somehow voted off the island while I was gone and they just haven’t told me. Just little things.

For instance I asked our Fearless Art Leader when our next board meeting was and he said he wasn’t sure and then I heard him telling someone else the exact date. And then we have an event coming up where there is a call for clothed models. A paid gig. I did it last year. I asked him if I could do that again this year. He said I’d have to talk to Tall Skinny Guy. He was arranging things for that. So I did. Tall Skinny Guy looked at me blankly. No. He wasn’t in charge of hiring models. So I don’t know if this is all Paranoia Central (i.e., my brain) making me feel insecure, or something is really up.

I also have my next solo art show coming up and I kinda feel like a dork about it. Remember how I said I had a show coming up? Well, to be honest, I wasn’t totally sure. I had just offered up my totally awesome awesomeness at some art meeting. The people had looked at me, blankly smiling, like people do when you are bipolar, like we better smile or they might hit us with a meat cleaver, so I wasn’t totally positive it was a done deal. That is until last Wednesday night when one of the women from the group had sent me an e-mail telling me I had missed the deadline for the art trail brochure. Like huh-what? You mean I’m in? I guess I had somehow missed the massive billboards along the way.

Memo to Witty on her Next Art Show: The tribe has spoken.

So that night I worked until 2:30 a.m. writing up my artist statement and Photoshopping my art image to send the woman doing the brochure. I also sent the info to the woman on the committee and to the man in charge of the gallery, so they’d have it the next morning, bright and early. 

See! Being manic, DOES have its advantages! Unfortunately, I never heard a thing from anyone. Like “thanks, I got it.” or “Gee, this really sucks”. Nothing. But then I just got another e-mail last night, a week later, asking me for my final version of my artist statement, along with this uber weird suggestion to write it in The Third Person. Huh? Sure I love being all artsy and hip and even vaguely bipolary, but why would I want to write something in the Third Person?

Also incidently,  last week’s statement WAS my final statement. Its bad enough I’ve been walking around my house feeling all neurotic and insecure because I haven’t had a shrink appointment in 7 weeks. But then being asked to rewrite something that was perfectly fine and not even knowing how long the show is running, or what the terms are, commission-wise or how to deal with the  overwhelming amount of anxiety I’ve been having because the gallery is in the same building as my art class and I’m anxious about people from my class seeing my work. I mean, God forbid somebody says its “fun” and I have to do a World Wrestling Federation Smack Down on them.

Plus, in the next month, I have an extraordinarily busy month for someone with no life. I have my solo show opening, I think, on 9/18, to which no one will probably come to. Right “J”?  My art group has an all day event on 9/21. Sci Fi Guy has my favorite Vampire, Big Boobed Woman Monster-Robot Art Show on 10/4. The place I used to work is having an art show on 10/7. My art group is having our group show on 10/15. And I’m going to visit my best friend in Rochester (hi ArtGnome….we’ll talk) on 10/25 when he hits town on a Broadway tour. 

And actually, at this point, I simply don’t have enough art to go around to all these venues, even though my mom just keeps saying, “witty, all you have to do is sit down and make a few collages!”

Yeah, right!

Oh, so back to my car. So last night, it kind of sputtered home after my art class,  with the battery light making like Vegas, flickering on and off. I went to go to an appointment today and what do you think? Car was dead again. Drat! So I lured one of the old ladies who live in the complex to let me use her car as a battery receptical and got the guy across the street to bring over his cables. You know how guys love to pull out their cables. Plus I didn’t want to call AAA again. Ever again. Since, you know how uppity they get if you feign your need for them. (ahem). So off I went after a little sparky exchange. I just left the damn car at yet another garage on the east side of town and took several buses home. I had gone there a long time ago and they were nice to me. Hopefully its not something too expensive, considering I’ve now spent something nearly approaching $1000 on a car that only cost $2600. Why?

Because I’ll be needing to get to all these upcoming art shows, just so I can drive to them….if you get my drift.

This is my latest painting from when I went to the State Fair….minus the rabid pig.

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10 Responses to “cars and art makes me crazy(er)”

  1. Anna Says:

    Wow – that’s a lot of art shows. Sounds great, albeit in an anxiety-inducing way. xxx

  2. artgnome Says:

    PSYCHED! that you are venturing up my way! I will have to show you and your friend around! woot! If you want to, of course.

    As for the art shows, you know how pretentious and snotty and all that rot that the business end of things are. You know not to take it personal, that they do it to all of us. Writing in the third person gives the illusion that you have “people” doing your grunt work and that you are a much bigger deal than you actually are. Again, the art world at it’s own insecure best.

    Always know that we artists are ALL insecure and second guess our work and selves on a regular basis. I know a man with Juno awards and Grammy nominations that doubts himself just as much as I or you do. We are all in this together. 🙂

  3. crankygirl Says:

    Love the third person idea. Like on Project Runway in which the pretentious guy with blue hair always refers to himself as Suede. As in “Suede thinks that Suede’s design is beautiful.” So I suggest something similar, as in, “Witty wants you to know that she is an artiste par excellance.” What douchebags.

  4. freshhell Says:

    FreshHell wants to say that your painting is inspiring and looks very much like PEOPLE and a DRUM and a PIG! I recognize the images which look SO REAL that I don’t have to think at all when I look at it. Actually, I do very much love your paintings. I love the vibrant colors. This one seems to want to move like photos in harry potter newspapers do. Wish I could buy it.

  5. scotvalkyrie Says:

    Actually, the third person thing does seem like a good idea. It gives this professional air about it, like you’re SO beyond fab that you’re doing interviews left and right. Which you should be, because you are that fab!

  6. Violet Says:

    First: Congratulations on all your artistic activity! I will not use the word “fun” — I appreciate your disdain for it, as it applies to your work.

    Second: I agree with Scot, above, about the third person. It makes it seem like someone else wrote your bio, so you can be as grand as you wish. It frees you from seeming braggy. (Not that you seem braggy.)

    XOX and lots of success to you!

  7. stepfordtart Says:

    “fun” is a weird word. L used to say it after sex when we were first together, as in “Aww man, that was great fun!” I could never work out why I found that so offensive, but I did! On a seperate note, Im not meaning to be mean (and Im probably wrong) but it seems like a lot of your anxieties are because you’re home on your own and have nobody with you to say “no, its ok honey, you’re probably over-reacting, I bet its like THIS really….” If I could magic up a BF for you, you know I would, but in the meantime if you ever want a second opinion on something you’re getting stressed about….well, you know where you can email. much love s xxxx

  8. goatbarnwitch Says:

    Wow, lotsa shows which is both cool and stess producing. The writing in the third person is so weird but like it was said before it makes you sound so much more important. No matter how you write self promotion it is still a bitch to do though. Good luck with it all. I wish I lived a bit closer so I could see all your shows. Great painting from the fair.

  9. xat Says:

    Yowza. Sounds like a bitch-week to deal with.

    However, if there’s anyone who can do it, it’s you. I’ve got faith in you. (For what that’s worth…*hug*)

  10. Seacreature Says:

    Oh man do I understand your anxiety over all of the art shows. In the past you have avoided these things because of your anxiety. But you know what? You’re beating that old bitch down! GO! PAINT! SHOW! WOOOOH! YEW KAN DOOO EEET!

    I feel the same way about my illustration…and other aspects of this “career” of mine. Fear holds me back because I let it. Don’t let it! And I love the painting, it is so very boooootifoh. Take care and good luck with the car.

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