Well hung and ready to go

Its truly amazing that I can now see the floor of my apartment, all merely because I took those pesky 15 paintings to another location. Can you imagine being able to see the floor? Can you??? Although sadly, the mice that Guardcat used to frequently chase around my apartment will no longer have a place to hide.

Reason #217 to buy a witty painting: Safe harbor for innocent mice to hide from menacing sharpy toothed cats.

“J” arrived exactly on time on Tuesday, which made me very happy.  Within seconds of arrival I had him up on a kitchen chair in my bedroom changing the battery in my smoke detector. And no that’s not just a euphenism for something else.  But when you have a man in your apartment, ya gotta put them to work. Right?  “J” was a very very good sport that day incidently. Thanks “J”!

So we loaded the two very large boxes into his car and headed downtown. It was nice to see him.  I had felt nervous asking for help. But I really needed it. We got to the bakery and they were just closing up, so we quickly lugged the boxes in and started unpacking them. I’ve never put up a show before. Sure I’ve watched shows being put up. Lots of times with my own art group. But having to arrange everything so they matched either in subject matter, painting style or just something that was similar was harder than I thought. The place basically had three walls.  So I put the funky portraits on one wall. My large show pieces on the main wall. And then the small nature pieces on the small dark back wall.

“J” immediately fell in love with my one and only landscape painting that I cuffed from Kandinsky. I’m very shaky on landscapes. I find them very difficult because of all the shadows and angles and bushes and skies and stairs and bell towers. Yikes! But he really seemed to like it and didn’t seem to balk at the price. So I may have sold one. Maybe.

We were pretty much like the Three Stooges minus one putting up all my art work on Tuesday. I love to tease “J”. I called him my “Frame Slave” for the afternoon.  We quarreled occasionally about how to do things and he didn’t like some of my frames, but I had done the best I could under the circumstances. He also didn’t faint when I was suddenly bleeding profusely from my right index finger. (I still have no idea what happened).

He also couldn’t quite understand my anxiety about bringing “my babies” into a public place. I’ve never been responsible for the visual design of a whole restaurant. And I am so incredibly shy and angsty about feeling accepted and to suddenly have my heart and soul splashed across an entire place of business. Oy!  I mean I practically have a nervous breakdown everytime I have to pick out one drawing or painting for a group show. 

But “J” was really great. He kept saying how beautiful and colorful my work was. And he’s not an idle complimentor. So I believed him. And it felt good. He even convinced me on the way home, that I should pursue my dream of going back to school. I had asked his advice earlier and he was all about giving me the thumbs up.

See? That’s all I need. One person telling me I can do it.

On Wednesday night, my other friend JS whose party I had gone to over the weekend, announced to my art class that I was having a show downtown. Amazingly, he had already been downtown that day and seen the show and liked it.  I was rather startled at the response in the class. What happened? Nothing. No high fives from anyone I knew. No, gee, that’s great. Not one word. I was a little sad about that, so I loaded up on donuts and tortilla chips and looked out the fire escape door forlornly during the break.

On Thursday I went to a meeting at my old place of employment. I also announced the show there and at least 4-5 people said they would drop by. Having it announced during an open meeting was a little problematic however. One guy who I don’t know, and who, quite honestly, creeped me out a bit, kept looking over at me after that and saying stuff  like “I like your picture on your flyer” and “I think your e-mail address is cool” (???) and then smiling like Jack Nicholson in “The Shining”. Eeeee!!!

So here’s my problem. I have this opening next Wednesday. I have no freakin’ idea how many people are coming. And I’m supposed to give the store manager a number on Monday. I’ve invited people from two very distinct tribes.  Mentally ill people. And artists. And yes, many of them belong in the same catagory…granted. Why do you think I get along so well with them? And then plus there’s my family… They could go either way!  The one and only time I have ever put something together in my life it went something like this:

I invited four people to a party at my house. Cooked lots of food. Bought a large cake. (it was my birthday). Did floral arrangements and decorations. Set up music. And then nobody came or called. I eventually threw everything in the garbage at 10:30 p.m. and threw myself across my bed and cried like Scarlett O’Hara for about 20 minutes. THE END.

So what is going to happen next Wednesday? I have no idea. Will anyone besides my mother show up? I have no idea. Rather ironically my show is called “Art not Apathy”. I was also thinking of adding the sub-title: “Buy witty’s paintings because she realllly needs brake pads”. What do you think? Too needy? We are talking about me, after all.

So we’ll see. I guess I’m just not used to being the center of attention. No wonder Britney Spears cracked up! I promise not to shave my hair off though. That would be just plain weird!




16 Responses to “Well hung and ready to go”

  1. Anna Says:

    Good luck with the show, witty. And I’m with J – if you want to go back to school then go for it – sounds fab.

    ps I’m still hoping for Mona… go on, quote me a price to include shipping…


  2. freshhell Says:

    Good luck! But, you’re putting artists and the mentally ill into SEPARATE categories? I smell an intersecting venn diagram here. 🙂

  3. artgnome Says:

    reaction of your class? – more than likely jealousy. I’ve been getting some hostility too from people that would rather see themselves succeed than me.

    guessing a number? range a number of the invited, and then speculate about half or two thirds of that. I have the same fear. Tons of people have been invited and say they are coming, but I just wonder how very many will let me down and not be there. I’ve had the same kind of parties as you, my friend. We shall have to commiserate together sometime on that. 🙂

  4. LA Says:

    Ah yes, the party where nobody shows up. Sucks sweaty moose balls. But your art show will be different! Along with seeing all your gorgeous work people will get to say, “Oh, I was at an art show opening last night.” Very hip and snotty. If I had enough money for gas I would so be there because along with adoring your work I am all about being hip and snotty.

    Good luck and I hope you sell a ton. ~LA

  5. pantrypuff Says:

    Gosh, your art is so beautiful. You do the bright colors I love so much…

  6. kittiefan17 Says:

    Hey. I’m sorry to hear about the last party you put together not working out too well. I hope that this show works out great and that you sell lots and lots of paintings. …and don’t worry about the people in your art class and their lack of reaction…that’s just people. Anyways, good luck again!=)

  7. Jessica Says:

    Ugh, I hate the pre-party anticipation. I’m always terrified people won’t show up. Your art is really interesting, and I don’t mean that in a it-sucks-but-I’m-too-nice-to-tell-you-that kind of way. It makes you want to look twice, look closer. Best of luck with your show.

  8. scotvalkyrie Says:

    How did the show go? Tell us!!

  9. crankygirl Says:


    I’d love to see another painting.

  10. Stepfordtart Says:

    Im REALLY hoping it all goes well for you. You’ve worked really hard and deserve some success. Fingers crossed. Oh, and a ((hug)) for luck,. s x

  11. Seacreature Says:

    OHOH OH!!!! It’s GONNA HAPPEN! Crossing fingers, toes, nipples and eyelashes for ya!
    And I agree with artgnome, the class is just JEALOUS. (sticks out tongue) MMLLEEHHH*

  12. geekbetty Says:

    you do realize how much spam you are going to get from your title alone – “well hung and ready to go” ahhahahah

  13. awittykitty Says:

    Oh Betty, nothing will ever surpass “Creamsex” and “Michagan Whores” when it comes to Googling my poor blog. And strangely I can’t even remember ever writing either of those, but there they are….every single flippin’ day in my Google list.

  14. Anne Says:

    Well my dear?? We need info!

  15. warcrygirl Says:

    How did the show go? I bet your sold ALL of your paintings and you’re now trying to think of all the ways you’ll be spending all that money.

  16. FairyGodMum Says:

    Congrats on the Art Show, I’m sure it will be a Big Success! Always give a round number of who will show and always be hopeful that more people will show from your beautiful flyer. Hope you sell many paintings! Hugz n Lub, Bebe da FairyGodMum

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