…and the beat goes on…


Greetings Minnions. Its my 50th Birthday.  No applause, just throw money. No really. I quit my job. I might be needing it soon. Anyhoo.  Fifty. Gulp.  Yeah, I’m looking in the mirror again. Not really sure what I’m looking for. Gray hairs?Answers,  perhaps. 

I’ve been partying all week though. Oh yeah. I’ve had two birthday parties for me…so far. Two cakes ablaze with candles. No. Not fifty candles at once. You don’t want to burn New York down, do you? My aunt gave me a party last Saturday.  She gave me $50. for turning 50. Why did I suddenly want to be 100? But I was astounded when a $50 bill fell out. And then my art class board members gave me a party on Saturday. Charlemagne had (cough) promised me a male stripper, but he didn’t show up. Charlemagne or the male stripper. Thanks a lot, buddy. I’ll remember that the next time you call for a ride. But I was astounded there too, because they also had a cake. Two of them actually. And presents. WTF? People in real life giving me presents? This must stop immediately. I might get used to it and then expect them every year and then what??? It was weird as we sat around the table at “P”s house. Fearless Art Leader asked me if I had any birthday traditions and you know what? I actually didn’t. I tried to come up with something and other than my mother taking me to countless restaurants on my birthday as a kid and having 900 waiters and waitresses come out and sing “Happy Birthday” which I absolutely HATED with the heat of 12 million suns, I really couldn’t think of anything.

Although now I actually love telling people its my birthday. Alot. I tell everyone. I’m like a crazy cat lady, except with birthdays. I also love helping other people celebrate theirs too. It like the anniversary of their existence, so why not? I finally did come up with somewhat of a tradition for my birthday the night of the party.

Heart shaped cakes. Because having a birthday in close proximity to Valentine’s Day always made for heart shaped, heart dappled, heart strewn, heart attack producing vanilla cakes. I like hearts though. They’re hopeful. I mean I could have been born on Ground Hog’s Day.  How exciting would it have been to have  giant rodent shaped cakes? Damn. So many missed opportunities.

This entry is actually a little early. My birthday hasn’t happened yet. Its like Birthday Eve. I guess because I’ve had so much pre-birthday activity, my birthday may be a bit anticlimactic. “J” from my old job is supposed to take me to lunch tomorrow. I saw his name on my caller ID today, but no message. He might have chickened out. I mean have you seen that hot picture up above? Woo. I’m also seeing “A” tomorrow to discuss…(echoing voice) THE NEXT 50 YEARS. I definitely don’t want to talk about the last 50, that’s for damn sure! Nope. Trying to look ahead for a change. I actually went to Barnes and Nobles over the weekend and it was absolutely swarming with guys. Guys looking at me demurely reading “The History of Color Photography or How to Photograph Cucumbers so they Look Good Enough to Eat”. I actually don’t really remember the name of the book. I guess I was too nervous with all the apparent attention I was getting. Shoo! Anyways, its almost 1 a.m. and I do need my beauty rest. Thanks for reading and hop over to http://Poolagirl@diaryland.com. Its her birthday too. Happy birthday Poola!! You’re the best. Night all.



32 Responses to “…and the beat goes on…”

  1. Xat Says:

    That is a fabulous picture of fabulous you. Fah. Boo. Luss. And anyone who says otherwise shall be shunned.

    Happy pre-birthday. May it be marvelous and filled with hopeful hearts.


  2. Miss Hiss Says:

    Oooh! Ooooh! Me first! Happy Big One, Miss B! You look fabulous. I hope the next year brings you many, many happy returns and many delectable cucumbers uniting passionately with that sweet vanilla heart cake of yours… Love, R xxx

  3. artgnome Says:

    That is the BEST self portrait I’ve seen of you yet, you are looking GREAT, gf. I’m glad you quit that job, it sounded so creepy and depressing. Some things are just not worth the effort. Like me dating, hah!

  4. artgnome Says:

    OH, and oh yeah! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

  5. chaosdaily Says:

    happy birthday!

  6. Pam Says:

    That is a completely awesome picture! Happiest of birthdays to you.

  7. Joe Says:

    Happy Birthday!

  8. LA Says:

    Happy Birthday, Sweetie!!! Here’s to a year filled with wonderful adenventures and art as gorgeous as the artist! ~LA

  9. Happy Birthday! Says:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I’m so glad you have one less thing to dread, because you are 50 and (as noted before) FABULOUS!!!

  10. vintagejunk Says:

    I’ve been reading your diary for ages and FINALLY I’m leaving a note. You look absolutely amazing in this pic. 🙂 Happy 50th!

  11. kathyesque Says:

    Happy birthday. I’m having just as much fun since I turned 50 – maybe even more – and I know you will, too.

  12. goatbarnwitch Says:

    Happy birthday! Neat pic too 🙂

  13. freshhell Says:

    Happy 50th!! Looks like you’re holding up pretty well for an old broad!

  14. Poolie - Your Birthday Buddy Says:

    YAY! Great picture, great writer and humorist, and very thoughtful online friend. You are simply amazing, my dear. Have a great birthday!

  15. geekbetty Says:

    happy happy happy happy happy birthday!!!

    my dad keeps assuring me age is all a state of mind. and he’s marrying a girl four years older than me, in a biker gang, and sleeps all day. he should know.

  16. karmacat Says:

    Happy Birthday! And congratulations on quitting that crummy job.

    My SIL did the dollars-for-age thing on my last big birthday, and all I could think was, “I hope she doesn’t expect me to reciprocate — she’s 6 years older than I am.” My brother’s birthday is on Valentine’s Day, so I’m quite familiar with all the heart-shaped and decorated cakes.

    Enjoy your extended celebration!

  17. kittiefan17 Says:

    happy birthday witty!!!!!!!!!!!!

  18. scotvalkyrie Says:

    Dearest Witty, Many Happy Returns of the Day to You! Happy Happy Happy Birthday Today and Every Day to Come! Yipppeeeee!!!

  19. Kat Says:

    Happy Birthday Witty!!!! Your eyes looked awesome in that pic. And I’m glad to hear you quit that nasty job. You can do so much better, just have faith in yourself. K.

  20. warcrygirl Says:

    Happy Birthday! You look mahvelous!

  21. Violet Says:

    A very happy birthday to you, A-Wit, and much joy throughout the year! XOXO

  22. Sandy from Iowa Says:


  23. Stepfordtart Says:

    No fucking way are you fifty! Either that or thats not a picture of you! Happiest of Birthdays to you dear, may you get all that you truly wish for. And some chocolate. s x

  24. Bozoette Mary Says:

    Hey! Happy Birthday, you young’un you!

  25. shaded-lily Says:

    Happy birthday, Witty!

  26. michael Says:

    First… Happy Birthday.

    50 isn’t that bad a age (I’m saying that of course, because I turned 50 about 6 months ago and I’m trying to make myself feel good).

    I did the same thing on my 50th (looking in the mirror). My mirror didn’t have any answers, but it did have quite a number of white hairs. I’ll e-mail you a couple if you want. LOL

    Again Happy Birthday

  27. Seacreature Says:

    Shit. I’m always late on here! HAPPY HAPPY hApPy HaPpY hApPy 50th Birthday, my darling!

    What an entry, my goodness. Made me laugh my ass off, as usual. I’m sittin’ here on my lower spine. Well Congratulations, you did it. You made it through another year and made some accomplishments! You did your art, you got a job (not nearly good enough for you), you met some new people and HELL, you dated!

    Look forward to the coming years and remember…IT’S NEVER TOO LATE.

    Hugs to you!

  28. Holly Says:

    Happy Birthday to You. Sounds like you had a good one. Here’s to the next 50 years

  29. Char Says:

    Happy birthday to you! You look GREAT in that picture!

  30. Kungfukitten Says:

    Oh hey, I was thinking of you and Guardcat yesterday when I saw a 1-800-PETMEDS ad on TV, they also flashed a website, you might google them and see if you can order some of that bubble gum flavored amoxicillin for her. Blood in urine is bad. Usually it means an infection has reached the kidneys. We want her healthy. I’d dose her even if she looks like she’s doing better.

    Happy Birthday beautiful!

  31. crankygirl Says:

    Sounds like it was a good b-day. Good for you for ditching the job–it sounded bad…

  32. Anne Says:

    Hey girl…guess what I’m watching? The sitcom ‘Alice’, and Joel Grey is singing ‘Swanee’….thought of you and wanted to share!!

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