…and I’ll even get a free blow-dart!!

So I’m just sitting here zoning out on the computer this evening. I finally saw “A” this morning for the first time in 28 days. Its so nice having a shrink who’s there for you. No really!  No….reallllly!!! I don’t blame him, of course. His new job pays more than I do, so of course, he’s going to go there. I understand that.

Today’s session was little more than a catch-up thingie, so I really don’t know why he needs to type all that  into his laptop since all he really needs to type is…


I did make him laugh however, when I told him I was looking for a job and was also looking on Craig’s List. “Craig’s List?” he asked and then kind of snickered.

Me: “And?”

Why the hell not? I look at their personal ads too. I’ve even answered a few. Did they answer back? Not usually (a trend in the life of the ever-invisible girl, it seems), but one  did. He said I was “fatalistic”.  Ouch!  All I said was that I wanted to make sure he wasn’t the “last idiot I dated”. And considering he had just written a list of 100 wonderful things about himself.

Of course, that will never touch my all time favorite  Craig’s List personal from a guy who went into minute detail about his delight at getting women’s pubic hair stuck in his teeth and how he was totally okay with it.

Eewww! Quick!! I feel so dirty. I think I need to go to Confession or to call a Hazmatt Team or something.  Ewww!

But my Craig’s List inquiry today did yield some results. I always check out the art category and today I found a guy putting on a rock and roll show at a local art gallery where I haven’t shown anything yet and he’s looking for good and bad art (BINGO!), much in the style of a “tongue in cheek take off of Andy Warhol’s old Exploding Plastic Inevitable.” (Huh?)  And the artist “will be compensated with blow-pops, blow-darts and a VHS copy of Antonioni’s “Blow Up” with the TV show “Frasier” copied over the last 1/2 hour of it.”


Dear Universe: Why don’t they ever pay artists in actual U.S. currency? Thanks. Love, witty.

But I did write the guy a note anyways, since I never, ever expect to make a penny with art, telling him of my vast collection of weird art including: Tiny science fiction figurines lurking under giant irises (One night I got frustrated with a landscape painting I had been working on and flipped out and started drawing Star Wars Storm Troopers on a search and destroy mission). I also have a pseudo-Bob Dylan portrait with the words “Nuns Arouse Me” painted on the bottom, and the two naked boys hiding under the giant nippled dog and my latest….a naked female Satan sitting watching “Lets Make a Deal” whilst a nuclear warhead is being detonated outside the living room window.

Oh-my-goodness….Bobby, the guy running the ad, wrote back inside a half hour.

“Your descriptions sound fantastic. I would love you to be involved with the show. Things are a bit hectic right now and I’m still ironing out some details, but I love the ideas you have and the things you’re working on, so definitely keep me updated. Bobby.”

So am I in? I guess so. It appears I’m like total catnip to the freebie guys, but I just can’t get a real job. But meh, its a new place to show, right? And I did make some money this weekend. Wanna hear how much? Its okay. You can ask. $7.50!!! Woot! Didn’t Paris Hilton just fart and make that much??

Anyhoo, I did my first PAID modeling gig with my art group and no I wasn’t nekkid, you pervs. I was very happy to get paid though. We had our yearly Hippie de Festivale here in town and my art group had a tent set up to promote our group.

Its really my favorite event of the year because for one short afternoon, one small street in our city becomes of the epicenter of all the artsies, liberals, hippies, belly-dancing mamas who live here.  MY PEOPLE.

Me weeping with joy knowing that there are others …like me.. out there.

And who was the first person I bump into? Go ahead…guess. Handyman! Charlemagne’s favorite neighbor. It was all so sudden, I didn’t even see him approaching, so I was unable to get my snark on. And besides he actually did what he should have done several months ago….apologize for his behavior on our last date. So I accepted his apology, since thats really all I wanted. And then he was gone. Case closed.

He had actually caused a rather intensive emotional thing between me and Charlemagne several weeks ago and I’m  glad thats over too.  Because the day of the Festival was the first time we had really communicated in over three weeks. Charlemagne was all Mr. Charming again. Hugging me. Saying how awesome my drawings were. Assuring me that people would actually pay money for my work. Oh my!  So fine. And then we lived happily ever after. Until our next rift, that is.

But other than that, the day was totally free of any drama. I enjoyed modeling. I enjoyed drawing. I enjoyed taking photos. My friend “J” from my old job stopped by to chat. It was nice seeing him because its been pretty hit and miss lately.  And being a total hug slut, I nailed him. Yay me. He took this photo of me drawing.

And then on Monday I met up with Diaryland writer, Essaywriter who is vacationing in the area with a friend. We went out to lunch at a nice local restaurant overlooking a lake and I think they were pretty darn  impressed with how beautiful it is around here (just not when its snowing 300″ in the winter). It was nice meeting her. This was her first Diaryland meet and my third. Its always interesting to put a face to the words on a computer screen. Do they match? Not always. Sometimes they’re even better. Thanks for driving up, Kathy. 



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8 Responses to “…and I’ll even get a free blow-dart!!”

  1. betty Says:

    I”m jealous. I don’t think I’ve had a diaryland meet yet. I’ve introduced people that I’ve met before to diaryland but I’ve never met someone from it.

    and that model looks cool in that picture!

    and congrats on the show 🙂

  2. scotvalkyrie Says:

    Hey, you got start somewhere . . . blow-darts can lead to paying gigs, or at least you can use them on wealthy-types to snag some muffin money from them . . . Muffin Money? That sounds like a porn star name!

  3. Poolie Says:

    You just never know where the journey will take you. I really give you credit for going with the flow and experiencing so many things. You rock, woman!

  4. Muffin Money Says:

    You takin’ the piss outta my name, you up there? x

  5. Violet Says:

    Oh, yeah, you’re in! I look forward to hearing about it all, all in its wittykitty glory.

    Vio “Muffin Money” White

  6. LA Says:

    Whoo! Belly dancing in Yuppieville! Witty hanging with rock-n-roll anarchists! Picking up weirdos on Craig’s List! Painting deviant art and sketching gay cowboys right there on the street! Lunching with elegant writers in chi-chi places with a view!

    And she moans about how boring her life is. ~LA

  7. awittykitty Says:

    Somebody has to LA, somebody has to. Sigh.

  8. Stepfordtart Says:

    the link to the organist is Sooooooo on its way in emailformat to you, witty dear. s x

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