“fame! I wanna live forevah!!” Kick…turn, turn

Well, my fame at WordPress as a “Growing Blog” was ever so fleeting, as in #78 out of 100 on July 14th only.  Remember that day people? The day I was almost famous!  Naturally I want to be famous again. It comes from years of feeling invisible and yet being…ahem…somewhat wildly talented in a few small areas….but never becoming rich or famous from any of them. Sound familiar?

So while I was in the shower today…the place where I either talk to myself about all the injustices of life and cry profusely or come up with really brilliant ideas, I decided I needed to write a really good entry to maybe catapult me back up into the WordPress Growing Blogs Stratosphere once again. But gah…my life is about exciting as a cheese sandwich with no mayo. Except perhaps that I’m sitting here writing this naked (note to self: Add that to catagories at right, “Writing Naked”. That will draw them in! Yeah!).  

Because that’s how it works evidently here at WordPress…people click on blogs under certain catagories and voila! I know they arrive here when they hit: Humor, because theatre sure ain’t a big draw.  

Of course, they also get here the other usual way. Google. And for some reason someone keeps getting here by typing: “Penis shaped cake pan”. All right all ready. You associate me with penis shaped cake pans. Good for you. Except I don’t have one. Nor do I bake. And sheese, there’s always that old favorite called bookmarking your favorites, unless you don’t want your wife to see  something that says “Art, angst and the occasional mention of nudity“.  Not that”penis shaped cake pan” isn’t exactly suspicious.

So what was my brilliant plan to bring in scads of new readers from all over the world? Make Google go totally crazy. Maybe write something like “So yesterday while President George Bush, one of the most well known assholes in the world was getting a colonoscopy, Harry Potter announced that he was gay to Tammy Faye Bakker who talked to him from heaven on her new iPhone, saying she was happy he had made his decision the same day as Angelina Jolie had announced she was adopting a tall dreamy gay Republican man from New York City just to show she didn’t only help people shorter than Brad Pitt.

I figured I’d hit a large cross section of WordPress readers and maybe boost my readership..even for one day…since it seems to be down considerably from my d’land days, since evidently, clicking a button to a different website has proved…well…(sigh)….difficult.

Although I did just have a guy named Steve, offer me a $100 a page to write his blog. My first boyfriend was named Steve, so I’m not sure how reliable they are since he cheated on me with a newscaster in San Francisco. A male newscaster.

Friday was interesting though. I had a group of people from my social service agency get together and tell me how awesome I was. They were all paid for their time of course. But it was something I had asked for recently, since I’ve been kind of in the proverbial dumps lately.  There were several social workers, my case manager (Hi “R”! Thanks for saying I was an excellent writer and so good with sarcasm. At least now I know who that lone local IP is) and then a couple people I had previously worked with including my old boss and “J”.

I was very shakey going in though, like Oh no! They’re going to be saying nice things about me. The world as we know  may crumble. I mean,  I can maybe take one compliment a month and meekly say “Thanks” with my head down, but to be tag-teamed with kindness and thoughtfullness. Preposterous! Outrageous!  Why they may even undo everything my mom has done to me over the last 49 years fercrissakes! So it was a little overwhelming, especially when they starting calling out things like “intelligent”, “caring”, “dependable”, “gentle mannered”, “always smiling” (not sure about THAT one!), “talented”, “sticks to her beliefs”, “creative”, “willing to help others”. My God, I think we should contact the Vatican. I’m on the verge of  sainthood!

And then they started to help me with what I really needed. What to do with my life, because right now I am totally stuck. I am blanked out. I don’t feel like doing much of anything because of depression. They came up with perhaps something art related like being an art ment0r either with kids or seniors or “SURPRISE” at where I used to work. Can you imagine? Because I told them, I keep going to local stores and getting applications with the intention of filling them out and taking them back, but after the failure at the last place in November, I just don’t want to go through that again.  That fear has also prevented me from doing much of anything else lately either.

So thanks, guys!

Also enjoy my picture of a weird cat painting I took at an antique show yesterday. I didn’t buy anything. I just walked around for three hours and photographed art, old funny hats and weird cats. I guess I just have an affinity for weird cats. 🙂

antiqueshow6.jpg

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13 Responses to ““fame! I wanna live forevah!!” Kick…turn, turn”

  1. chaosdaily Says:

    im still reading!

  2. Brian Says:

    I have to admit you have done a perfect post for shooting up the WP ladder.

    Love the cat. No really I do. Doesn’t it look like the cat in “Sabrina The Teenage Witch”?

  3. criminyjicket Says:

    ok, this was funny…except the cheese sandwich with no mayo…thats just wrong…

    also you seem bright, articulate, witty (heres some rumbling)…insghtful, charming, creative

    ok, thats all i got…if the earths crust isn’t cracking it isn’t going to

    nice post

  4. crankygirl Says:

    I love the part about the colonoscopy. Write on! And thanks for your comments.

  5. Anne Says:

    “…I wanna reach for the sky!”

    Hi! I think you would make a terrific art mentor. You would be able to use your art, and help others, too.

  6. Andria Says:

    My readership dropped after I moved, too. You’d think it wouldn’t be a big deal since you link to to the new page, but I guess people are freaked out to go outside of the diaryland realm. Whatever. That cat’s red eyes are creepy.

  7. lizski Says:

    Naw. The issue is that most people (you aren’t one of them) who move don’t ever bother to update their d-land pages (because they can’t or whatever), and for those of use who have no other useful way to track the people we read, we lose track. So, that fact that you take the effort to post the link to d-land each time is HUGE for me. And greatly appreciated. And I’m with you; I like weird cats.

  8. GoingLoopy Says:

    *sigh* I guess I should keep posting shit at Diaryland, then?

    But seriously, I think that your idea of being an art mentor to kids or seniors is a great one. You seem to have the happiest days when you’re doing nice stuff for people and they give you some positive feedback…and even though both groups can be assholes when you encounter them one on one, generally it’s hard for people to be complete fucktards when they get to make a mess with art supplies. Can you really be cranky when you’re playing with crayons and glitter?

  9. Stepfie Says:

    Im such a fucktard that it took me a few entries to realise you were linking to your ‘new place’. Maybe there’s just way too many derr-brains like me over at D’land. Im gonna stick to crayons and glitter. s x

  10. warcrygirl Says:

    How weird, my readership skyrocketed when I moved to Blogger, and even more so at WP. Give it time, my dear.

  11. Clipchick Says:

    Hey. I just wasn’t reading ANYONE at D-land. No offense, life just hit like a ton of bricks again. I AM pleased to say that I figured out almost immediately you were no longer there, and thanks to Andria and Loopy who have this correct link, I found you almost immediately!

    I should insert another portion of the song here. However, since I haven’t commented in quite a while, I’ll spare everyone.

  12. Seacreature Says:

    Yes, give it time. You are a very talented and entertaining writer… If you write it, they will come.

  13. shaded-lily Says:

    That cat picture looks like a candidate for the Museum of Bad Art. It could be a companion piece to Peter the Kitty (see http://www.museumofbadart.org/collection/portraiture-10.html)

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