naughty and nice vie for world domination

NAUGHTY???

Guardcat feigning innocence during the recent toilet paper debacle in the bathtub.

Okay, that face may fool a few, but there was absolutely  no remorse whatsoever there for me. It was more of a smug, this is so–so funny, that me, a mere cat, can unroll almost a whole roll of toilet paper before witty could even run in here and do anything about it, kind of vibe.

So don’t think there are going to be any cans of that special Fancy Feast in your hand embroidered kitty stocking, Ms Toilet Paper Desperado.

And then there’s…

NICE:

Need we say more? Okay, I said Nice, not perfect. I certainly proved that over and over this year, didn’t I? The not perfect part. But I’m finally getting to the point where I’m able to accept not being perfect. Because nobody is perfect, not even Oprah “Here’s a Free Car, Let Me Build You a School, So You’ll Love Me” Winfrey. Am I right? AM I RIGHT???

Next order on the agenda: Not punishing myself endlessly for making mistakes. I’m real big on that one. So we might have to call in the Big Guns for that…Mr Smug King himself….Dr. Phil. Gah! Can you imagine me and Dr. Phil on the same stage? Of course, I’d be the one with the awesome hair.

Anyways, I just wanted to thank everyone for reading. You’re sorta like the extended friends and family I don’t have in real life. I really appreciate the care and attention you give. Its very much appreciated, as in, more than you’ll ever know. And before I start blubbering and saying stupid stuff ”You love me, you really love me.” like Sally Field and someone hitting me with a yule log, I should probably stop here. Guardcat would probably like to say something too, but well, you know how indifferent cats are.

Anyways,  have a good holiday season. Try not to kill your relatives in the next week or so, since you’ll probably get caught and they won’t  have dial up service in prison and then how will you know if I get laid in 2008??? Priorities, people!!!